Online dating...Should I do it Single Girl?

   Wow, newly being single (well...again) has really taken a toll on me. In the name of research for this awesome blog and because I have a hard time saying "no" to any thing fun I have been going out wayyyy too much! For me going out usually involves alcohol. Not that I am an alcoholic or even really enjoy drinking so much, for some reason its just what I do when out at a club/bar/lounge, I mean what else do you do when you go to these places? Even most dates involve wine or cocktails. So, I have been going out with my hot Blondie friends and living it up...Now its Saturday night and I cant even think about going out again...at least until tomorrow.

In general I prefer to be at home most nights of the week, cooking, watching a movie, cuddling on the couch. This is probably how online dating got started. You can only go out boozing soo often. Of course I love going out and having fun with my friends, but if the purpose is meeting potential dates, you can't help but think of the wasted money, time spent getting ready to go out (my favorite part of the night), and energy if the night doesn't produce any promising specimen. Of course shopping through an online catalog in your pjs is soo much easier...OR IS IT?

Friends and clients are always asking me my opinions about online dating...should they try it? I have tried Eharmony, Match.Com (twice) and Jdate, each for short periods of maybe a two or three months at a time, through out my 7 years of living in Los Angeles.  So my input is really not a do it or don't but know what to expect and make sure you are prepared for the time commitment.

First of all, I don't know how many times I have heard that so and so's sister, mother, brother found their soul mate or spouse on online dating. I am sure it happens...hey my own mom met her husband on Yahoo Personals and I think they are truly soul mates.  For me, online dating is a job. Sure, first its all very exciting when your inbox is filled with 1000 emails from mystery men. This is so overwhelming and flattering.  So you read as few as possible, weeding out anyone that doen't fit your "criteria" and get down to a handful that are worth writing back to or gasp... "winking" back at. Basically this process involves inspecting photos and skimming a profile (They all write pretty much the same things).  After writing back and fourth with your potential suitors you will eventually decide to meet a few.

Ladies, make sure you meet for a drink or coffee. DO NOT commit yourself for an entire meal! This is a meet and greet basically to see if there is any chemistry in person and to make sure the other person is actually who they say they are. I will get into horror stories at another time.  So you get cute, go to chosen location to meet and make small talk.  If its a success you can now do a dinner. The problem is you will end up having dates 3 or 4 days a week if you end up going on dates with some of these people and its exhausting and really how can you know if you like someone if you are juggling so many. I get in this situation because with each contact you get some momentum going and its kind of hard to tell someone you are booked with dates for the next two weeks. So you squeeze them in, sometimes bumping out less-desirables. Then you find one you start to like, so you date them and the others fall by the wayside. You spend two months with this person they seem like the man of your dreams and then one day you realize, that maybe you didn't know them that well after all and wonder if its too late to call back date number 127.  Ahhh I am boycotting online dating right now but I wrote up a quick list of pros and cons for those considering it.

Pros to Online Dating

-There is always someone waiting to take you out, so you don't get overly invested in one person at the beginning
-Its an easy way to come up with potential dates
-You get a quick list of the person's stats (If they are honest)
-Its fun to check your email
-The Mystery can be fun and exciting
-After you are dating for a while you can  see if they are still logging in and talking to others


Cons To Online dating

-Riskier, because you have no common connection
-You do not know if there is chemistry until you have invested a bit of time before meeting
-It takes a lot of time to weed out the crazies
-Someone you know may see you on there (ie an ex or co worker)
-Money and time spent looking cute for a ?
-Dealing with turds
-After you are dating for a while you can  see if they are still logging in and talking to others
-After you are dating a while they can see if you are still logging in
-It feels desperate
-When dating someone and you are asked where you met...its not a great story